


never fell in love 'cause i just cut loose (but not when it comes to you)

by darkrosemind



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Kind of Hurt/Comfort, Rosa has many feeling about Gina, bi character(s), dianetti, pining!Rosa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 18:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrosemind/pseuds/darkrosemind
Summary: For as long as she has known, Rosa Diaz has been in love with Gina Linetti, and it's slowly killing her to not tell her. She wants to be with Gina more than anything, but she can't do it. She can't tell Gina, no matter how much she wants to.





	never fell in love 'cause i just cut loose (but not when it comes to you)

**Author's Note:**

> title lyrics from 'heartlines' by broods

                She loved watching Gina Linetti. How Gina would twirl through the air and move her body oh so preciously. She wanted to hold Gina close; to have Gina be _hers_ forever. How she longed to pull an arm around Gina’s waist while standing next to her; grabbing her hand and tracing circles onto her palm.

                Rosa was in love. And she knew it. She would have never expected to fall for Gina Linetti when she had first laid eyes on the woman, but as the days passed by, Rosa grew fond of the fiery haired woman. Gina was fucking _dynamite_ and Rosa fell for her harder than she had fallen off of the monkey bars when she was in the fourth grade. (And that time was pretty hard. She had broken two bones.)

                Rosa didn’t know that she was falling in love at first. She rolled her eyes at Gina with annoyance whenever Gina pulled a stunt. She radiated fear towards Gina just as she did with everyone else. She didn’t talk to her; didn’t open up. She avoided Gina Linetti just as she avoided everyone else in the Nine-Nine.

                But there was something _more._

                Suddenly, Rosa felt chills crawling down her body whenever Gina was near. Her breath hitched when she saw Gina dancing in the break room. She found herself glancing up every few minutes and looking at Gina, whether the assistant was on her phone… or… on her phone. Gina was always just on her phone.

                One time, Rosa looked up from her paperwork to see Gina smiling down at her phone. Her eyes were bright and she sort of laughed, and Rosa felt something rising up in her chest. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was happiness, or maybe it was both. Jealousy because _she_ wanted to make Gina laugh the way she was laughing while looking at her phone, even though she was probably laughing at some stupid meme or something. Happiness because Rosa figured out that as long as Gina was happy, _she_ was happy.

                Rosa hid her feelings so well for so long. It was her specialty, building an indestructible wall around her emotions. At first, she knew that she could hold in her feeling about Gina forever. No one needed to know. Not even Gina herself. Rosa thought that if she waited long enough, she would lose feelings for Gina.

                She was wrong. Oh, so _immensely_ wrong. As time flew by, Rosa fell in love with Gina even deeper than the deepest part of the ocean, and no one knew for sure how deep the ocean was. Her mind rocketed with mixed emotions every time she was near Gina. She found herself looking for that casual touch and waiting for the sound that was Gina’s laughter and music to her ears.

                _This is bad,_ Rosa told herself at some point. Gina couldn’t ever be hers. For years, Rosa had watched Gina Linetti; secretly pined for her and watched painfully as Gina went about living her life and falling in love. Falling in love with people who were not Rosa Diaz, to be exact. Gina had her daughter, too. So Rosa went about her own life, halfheartedly entering relationships even though she knew that Gina was the one she wanted to be with.

                Rosa could never ever just keep a relationship. She knew that she should be happy with what she had; it was this better than nothing. But Rosa wanted _more._ She wanted someone _else._ She wanted _Gina Linetti._ But all she could do was watch Gina with pain in her eyes, wishing that Gina was holding her hand and hugging her and kissing her goodnight.

                Gina thought of her as no more than a friend; Rosa was sure of it. And it broke her heart, over and over and over again. Rosa would come into work in the morning, see Gina, and fall in love with her all over again. And she’d leave the precinct on her motorcycle, nursing a broken heart that was just to be mended the next day and then broken all over again.

                Rosa subtly did everything that she could for Gina. She got her coffee in the morning, made her copies for her, and occasionally watched her daughter when Gina went out. It was the closest that she could ever get to Gina; to watch her young daughter. And it made Rosa’s heart hurt all over again every single time. Iggy was a carbon copy of her mother. And Rosa would never admit it, but she loved Iggy like her own daughter. The daughter that she never knew that she wanted. The little girl who was the real daughter of the love of her life.

                One day, Gina asked Rosa to babysit for Iggy while she went out. Rosa agreed, obviously. She found herself halfheartedly playing with Iggy Linetti, who was as always delighted to see Rosa.

                Recently, Iggy had taken up calling Rosa just ‘Diaz’ in her adorable toddler voice after hearing her mother call Rosa by her last name. It made Rosa’s heart melt every single time the precious little girl said ‘Diaz’ or ‘Rosie.’

                “My mommy said I can’t call you Rosie anymore,” Iggy informed Rosa that night. Rosa looked up.

                “Well, why not?” Rosa asked curiously.

                “Because she said that’s _her_ thing to call you. I have to pick something else. And I don’t wanna call you just Rosa, because that’s _boring,_ ” Iggy complained. Rosa smiled. “What is Diaz short for anyways?” Iggy inquired.

                “Nothing,” Rosa told her. “It’s my last name, like yours is Linetti.”

                “Oh. Can I call you Ro-ro, then?”

                “I would be honored if you did.”

                “Okay,” Iggy said. “Ro-ro, I have a question. Do you love my mommy?”

                The question nearly made Rosa choke. For so long, she had been so careful about her feelings; hiding them and sitting behind a disguise of apathy. No one had known, and Rosa was sure that no one would ever know. And then this small adorable toddler came in and tore down her once-indestructible wall and reached down and pulled her feeling to the surface. “What— what makes you say that?” Rosa asked.

                Iggy shrugged. “Like, my mommy always talks about you. I think she loves you. She says that a lot,” Iggy said and continued scrawling on her coloring book.

                “She says that?” Rosa asked softly.

                Iggy nodded. “Yup. So do you love her back?”

                “I— I’ve never really thought about that,” Rosa lied. She’s thought about loving Gina Linetti a lot. It was constantly on her mind. Gina was constantly on her mind, and Rosa knew for sure that she loved Gina.

                “Because before she was leaving, Mommy said that she would rather be with Rosie. And then she said something about kissing,” Iggy said, coloring an apple with a teal crayon. “This is a pretty color,” she said, holding up the crayon and examining it.

                Rosa wasn’t sure what to do. Iggy was a toddler; there could be a chance that what she was saying was inaccurate. Rosa hoped to hell that what she was saying was true, but still. Rosa doesn’t know what to say. _I love your mommy and I wanna kiss her,_ crossed her mind, but Rosa pushed that thought away.

                “You want to watch cartoons?” Rosa asked, and Iggy immediately jumped up.

                “Yes!” She left the crayons discarded on the floor and pulled Rosa to the couch, grabbing the TV remote and handing it to Rosa. Rosa laughed and put an arm around Iggy’s tiny shoulder, turning on the TV and looking through the recorded cartoons.

                Two hours later, Gina Linetti entered her apartment with smudged lipstick and her coat in her hand. What she found, was Rosa Diaz sleeping on her couch with Gina’s daughter’s head resting against her shoulder. Iggy was also asleep and the TV was still on in front of them.

                Gina smiled, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. Iggy stirred in her sleep. Gina gazed at the sight of Rosa’s peaceful state. Her curly hair fell over her eyes and her breathing was slow and steady. Gina sighed and walked closer to the two. She couldn’t help but to brush Rosa’s hair out of her face. This caused Rosa to wake up, and she looked up at Gina.

                “Hi,” Gina laughed. “You look cute.”

                Rosa’s heart fluttered in her chest. She glanced over to Iggy, who was also by then awake.

                “Mommy!” Iggy screamed, standing up on the couch and hugging Gina. Gina laughed and held her daughter close for a few seconds before putting her down on the couch. “How was your _date?”_ Iggy inquired.

                “Terrible,” Gina said, glancing over at Rosa. Rosa tried to offer her some sort of smile, but she ended up looking down to the floor.

                “Mommy, do you remember what you said?” Iggy said. “You know, about how you want to kiss Ro-ro’s face off?”

                Gina’s jaw dropped open. “Enigma, how dare you expose me like this? I never—“

                “You did, Mommy. You said that,” Iggy said brightly. “I think Ro-ro wants to kiss your face off too.”

                It was Rosa’s turn to drop her jaw wide open. “Iggy, I never said—"

                “You totally want to, though,” Iggy said with a knowing smile. “I’m right, I’m right, I’m right!”

                “Is that so?” Gina said, looking down at Rosa with a smile.

                Rosa gulped. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, before feeling Gina’s hands grabbing hers and pulling her up.

                “If you wanna kiss me, and I wanna kiss you, then what’s stopping us?” Gina asked softly, pulling Rosa’s face into her hands. Rosa’s breath caught in her throat. Almost automatically, her arms weaved around Gina’s waist as she looked at Gina with surprise written all over her face.

                And before she knew it, Gina’s lips were on hers. The exact moment that she had longed to feel for years. Gina’s lipstick tasted like strawberries. Her arms pulled Gina closer, and Gina’s arms were around her neck. Rosa could smell Gina’s perfume. She smelled like violets and fresh air and everything good—

                “Mommy and Ro-ro are kissing! Mommy and Ro-ro are kissing!” Iggy shrieked.

                Rosa and Gina almost reluctantly broke apart, still in each other’s arms. “You— you have no idea how long I’ve been in love with you, Gina,” Rosa croaked hoarsely.

                “I want you, Rosa,” Gina said. “Maybe you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, but I’ve always wanted to kiss you.”

                “Does this mean that Ro-ro is my other mommy?” Iggy asked curiously.

                Gina laughed. “Maybe someday. I’d like for that to happen.”

                Rosa grinned, finally free of her burden of being in love with Gina with no one knowing. “Me too.”


End file.
